This Is My Jam! Where Are You Going?

Reading Rachel Donadio's essay in Sunday's New York Times Book Review, "It's Not You, It's Your Books," was good for a laugh. (She followed it up with a post at Paper Cuts, if you'd like to get interactive.) The article is about "literary dealbreakers"—that moment when someone's taste in books makes it apparent that a relationship will not be possible.

This called to mind an experience of mine, only with music. Back when I was in college I was infatuated with someone, despite her loving the Dave Matthews Band. I mean, that alone is a red flag; but it wasn't until we were at a bar one night and she a) put Stevie Ray Motherfucking Vaughn on the jukebox, and b) started air-guitaring for the duration of the seven-minute jam, that I figured out I was a fucking bonehead and needed to start looking elsewhere. It's not just the taste in music—there's just something fundamentally wrong happening there.

And with that I turn it to you: did you ever date (or merely have a crush on) someone, only to have the whole thing ruined when you realized their taste in music was hopeless?

Since I'm sure you're all a bunch of open-minded goodie goodies who would never deign to judge something so insignificant as taste as an indicator of character, I'll ask you the reverse as well: have you ever developed a crush based on someone's musical taste?

Points awarded if either answer centers on a specific album or song.

Comments

[Paul]

Actually, I think Stevie Ray had a few good songs. I like that one about that flood down in Texas. But I'm old. (I would have been more concerned about the Dave Matthews fandom. Also, I think air guitaring by a woman is a big turnoff in most cases.)

To answer your question, I found that my dating prospects improved considerably when I was able to suppress my music-snob tendencies (which may now be called into question anyway based on the previous sentence).

[scott pgwp]

Yes, it was air-guitaring itself—and for such an extended period of time—that was the worst part. (though SRV was heinous too, sorry.)

Anyway... I just knew someone was going to come along and say something against music snobbery; for the purposes of this post, that is an unacceptable answer!

[Matthew Langley]

I once had a crush on a girl I saw at a record store (Plan 9) because she was agonizing over which Tav Falco record to buy (correct answer is all of them).

To top it off, an hour or so later I'm at the Fan Thrift (Richmond, VA) and she is in the most amazing 99 cent dress I have ever seen.

To tie up this long story, I learned from a friend she was leaving town that week for Athens (Greece not Georgia). The whole week went down like a Leonard Cohen song. I guess this story does as well.

[scott pgwp]

That is more like it! Brilliant.

[Cara dB]

Oh man, about 3 years ago I was sort of long-distance dating this guy and I asked him what kind of music he was into and he said, "You know, I really like Mariah." As in Carey. Then he told me how her gospel stuff was great.

I was relating this evidence of heinous taste to some friends at a party and this random dude in the corner that I hadn't been paying attention to piped up with, "Right there, that's a red flag." The random dude and I are now getting married in about 6 weeks.

Also, air guitar is bad, male or female, although I'll cop to doing it myself occasionally. Heh.

[scott pgwp]

Cara, that is fantastic. (See Paul? Music snobbery can bring people together!)

[Jeremy]

opposite of music snobbery story, but right on point.

in college. playing in some indie rock bands. hanging out and living with a big crowd of all the local indie rock snobs all the time. etc... etc... you get the picture.

all my too-cool friends made fun of me all the time for my love of all things Counting Crows. I did, and still do, love that band.

so, then a bunch of us find ourselves at some apartment full of indie rock girls. I'm interested in one of them and we're probably all listening to some stereolab album or something, when one of the girls makes a joke about the girl I was interested in liking Counting Crows. The girl I was interested in piped up with, "Hey! Counting Crows are awesome! You just don't get it."

It was love immediately. We're married now, and have a kid and everything. Seriously.

[uh, your wife]

hmmm, i met this DJ at an art opening once... he was playing all this amazing noise, not quite what i would've described as music until then, and i was so interested that i accosted him on campus later and introduced myself. he subsequently introduced me to a world of music snobbery i had previously unknown. in a good way, honey! and so it goes... so glad you didn't give up and settle for SRV-loving, airguitar-doing, presumably long-hippie-skirt-wearing girl.

had we met in your metal phase, though, i most certainly would have never even considered you to be an option.

[scott pgwp]

Oh, hi! Fancy seeing you here!

Remind me to tell you some time about the girl who hipped me to Rufus Wainwright. Truth be told I think the only reason I opened my ears to that album was because I was so smitten with the girl I couldn't help but love whatever she pitched my way. Nine years (!) later, I've got all of his albums! Also, a wife!

Jeremy - sweet story. This thread has become much more heartwarming that I was expecting it to!

[Paul]

Scott, I just came back and read all of those nice comments. I hope I didn't give you all the wrong idea about music snobbery. As a practicing music snob (SRV notwithstanding) I am very much in favor of it, but it just didn't work for me on the dating front. Believe me, for years my fantasies included a musical-taste component, but my realities always ended up otherwise. I don't think my wife even reads my blog. Sad face. But she's great in many other ways and it looks like my music-loving genes have made their way down to the kiddos, so we have her outnumbered.